I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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