i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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