I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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