quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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