HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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