You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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