The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
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i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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