i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
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I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
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Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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