That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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