He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
we're so committed to being not committed
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