I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
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Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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