im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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