just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize