Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize