I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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