my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize