she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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