I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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