i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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