she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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