I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize