2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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