He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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