Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize