Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Pants are for mortals
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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