Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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