Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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