Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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