im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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