I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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