with your own penis?
You really coming over, don't trick.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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