Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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