Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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