I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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