Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize