what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
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I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
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Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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