He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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