At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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