So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
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His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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