Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
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Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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