I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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