I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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