I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
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