Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
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I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
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Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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