You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You ruined the universe
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize