a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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