If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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