Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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