We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
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he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
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I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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