The maid of honor just puked.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
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he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
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But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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