Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize