If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
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I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize